Because, of course he did.
By Jake Woolf for GQ.
Few people look at Ted Cruz and think, Boy, now that’s a guy with a sense of humor. He has the comedic timing of a bag of rocks and yet, somehow manages to have the confidence of the actual Rock. He also happens to be one of the many members of Congress who has seen the ugliness that is President Donald J. Trump and decided more or less, “Meh, at least he doesn’t want to raise taxes on the rich.” But in addition to doing his job (which at this point more or less consists of playing nice with the man who called his wife ugly and convincing old and poor people that universal health care is the anti-Christ), Cruz is also on Twitter firing off super sick roasts of other senators.
In this case, Ted “Sentient Claymation Character” Cruz hopped on the timeline to partake in a caption contest of a photo of Nebraska Senator Ben Basse and Chuck Schumer. He implied that Senator Schumer recently purchased two “RompHims,” the new Kickstarter’d romper for men that went viral this week.
Sheesh, what an absolute riot that one is. See, it's funny because Ted Cruz is saying Schumer bought not one, but two rompers for men. And of course a snowflake like Democrat Chuck Schumer would wear something that only girls wear. Get it now? Get it? Look, we're not even saying that RompHims are stylish, but honestly we're just a little shocked that Cruz was able to destroy all of the Twitter fun the RompHim had provided over the past 48 hours this fast. This is why we can't have nice things. Anyway, here's a song by a rapper named Lil' Daddy called "Please Don't Touch My Romper," a parody of the A$AP Rocky song "Please Don't Touch My Raf" which debuted earlier this week.
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